text left at top: You look ridiculous, / Like a walking trash heap! / Do the world a favor / And let me tear you apart!
text at far left: Leave Spotty Half-Pot / alone, Mister!
text center top: The Florida Phantom / a Tropical Terror / vs. / Spotty Half-Pot / the Children’s Friend.
text far right: Of course I look ridiculous, / I work on / a local children’s show / And the goofier the better! / You call yourself a phantom, when you’re / just a flaming fool / with a cheap map of Florida / for a face. / That’s really stupid!
text bottom center, left to right: Wasn’t the Florida Phantom / a professional wrestler? Wasn’t this supposed / to be a real fight? I watched the Spotty Half-Pot Show / till I left for college! / Love his costume!